Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:
Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.
Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken. The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.
At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates. While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.
A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.
The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.
The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.
I got to the rash and almost stopped. So glad I didn’t.
“Benedict was playing Maximillian Clarke, a paranoid hypochondriac who’s so afraid of germs that he lives inside a sealed suit that filters all the bacteria out of his air and food. Isabelle Vincey, the heroine, finds him surviving in an igloo on the Dark Side of the Earth and he joins her on her quest to start the world turning again.
Benedict was a real trooper on the shoot. He was trailing cables and pipes, carrying all the weight of the suit, blinded by the fogging visor and deafened by the compressor that kept the suit inflated. Every time Katie took his helmet off he was sweating buckets. But he never complained. (By contrast, after he’d left – to go to the BBC for the first read-through of Sherlock – we put crew member AJ Nicol in the suit for five minutes for a wide shot and he came out swearing and cursing and moaning.)”— Neil Oseman, the writer-director of The Dark Side of the Earth, on Benedict working on set
excuse me, can i get a couple of ice cubes in here please
sure, a couple of ice cubes coming up!
here you go
hhaah… april fools!!!!
WHAT DID YHYOU DDO TO MY DRINK???!?!?!?!?
you asksed for a couple of ice cubes in your drink, and i only put in one!!!
i guess that is pretty funny
the amount of hair i lose in the shower really concerns me
I hope in s4 John gets really really mad and yells “William Sherlock Scott Holmes!” and Sherlock just freezes
do you ever just start mentally plotting out a story and you suddenly come up with that one scene or that one line and you just think
this will be the scene that makes everyone cry
Oh my god this looks like a hipster post but it’s just the king of hell
not enough hipster galaxy overlay
there we go
Still not hipster enough, we need some profound and meaningless words on this.
Meaningless and profound enough?
Can someone tweet this to Mark…
what if augustus and hazel’s couple quote was “Aight? Aight.”
i fell in love the way u fall asleep. slow then mad quick u feel
one of my personal favourite moments
best. scene. ever.
I’m not going to lie, I thought he was going to Mulan his way up and capture the flag
wait what i don’t get it
Lol it’s funny because fat people are always hungry which is why they’re fat lololol
I actually hate her
are you fucking kidding me
beginning to dislike her more and more
she is kind of rounded out herself so where does she even get the right??
but wow what a bitch
And here we have another case of Tumblr being brain dead retarded.
This fine man who had a fat joke made at his expense is Zach Galifianakis. Zach is an actor known for his comedic roles in movies such as the “Hangover” and is also known for his stand-up.
Zach has a comedy show called “Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis” a show where he interviews well known celebrities and “Maintains an awkward and often antagonistic demeanor with his guests, asking them bizarre and inappropriate questions mixed with off-handed non sequiturs on a set that intentionally resembles a low-budget amateur production fit for public-access television.”
So you see Tumblr, Jennifer Lawrence wasn’t actually being a bitch. She was ACTING like a bitch for the sake of comedy which Mr. Galifianakis himself was fully aware of because he wrote the script, thus making fun of himself.
Tumblr gettin’ schooled always has a place on my blog.